Fans of Monty Python will recognize the title of this post as referring to one of the troupe’s classic and most beloved sketches, in which an overzealous policeman accosts the manufacturer of eccentric chocolates for labeling his products with descriptions that insufficiently explain the nature of some of those products. The policeman at one point suggests that the man “move into more conventional areas of confectionaries.” At another point, the proprietor objects that if he was to label one of the chocolates as suggested by the policeman, “Our sales would plummet!” To which the policeman retorts, “F--k your sales! We’ve got to protect the public!”
I recently came across a USPTO examiner’s description of himself on Linkedin in which he said that he’s been trained to conduct “basic” patent examination tasks, received an award for good performance, and has a record of “protecting the public” – with proof of the latter being a rate of affirmance at the PTAB that’s higher than average. It should come as no surprise that patentbots.com shows that this examiner’s allowance rate is below 15%.
I can picture a conversation with this examiner:
“But what about my client’s invention that is patentable, and on which he’s spent lots of money to try to commercialize it?”
“F your client! I’ve got to protect the public.”
Oh, for the days of Todd Dickinson, who died last month, but who in his tenure as USPTO Commissioner made it clear to the examination corps that serving the public means allowing, not, denying, patents on patentable inventions.